Wow. Just wow.

I thought Seminary was supposed to teach pastors to think before opening their mouths in the sanctuary.

Click here.

Happy 300th, Chuck!

Check out this story from the United Methodist News Service.

I'm a big fan of Charles Wesley. As a music-obsessed, guitar-playing, uke-strumming, songwriting, United Methodist, I have long considered it the height of cool that our heritage is based upon the work of a great theologian (John) and a great songwriter (Charles). I say that not to diminish John as a songwriter or Charles as a theologian. I say it to lift up Methodism's historic emphasis on artistic expression of faith.

It has long been asserted that the Wesleys did a better job of describing their Eucharistic theology in song than in writing. Some days I too wish I had a thousand tongues to sing my great redeemer's praise (most days I wish I felt that way more often) - and that passionate expression of faith's assurance is far more powerful than simple descriptive words. I've even heard some assert that United Methodists in the pews actually learn more theology from our hymnals than from our pastors. (That's not the downfall of pastors, it's the power of song).

I don't know about you, but I totally look forward every Easter to singing those loud, lusty Alleluias in Christ The Lord Is Risen Today. (sidenote: when we say Christ is risen today, how existential is that?) Thank you, Charles. How much theology is there in this single stanza?:

 Let us plead for faith alone,
 faith which by our works is shown;
 God it is who justifies,
 only faith the grace applies.

Thank you, Charles. Come, Sinners, to the Gospel Feast! Thank you, Charles.

Who are today's Charles Wesleys? Can we aspire to express our faith as beautifully, lustily, passionately as Charles did? I pray we can.

CD of the Week

Walk - Don't Run: The Best of the Ventures!

Maybe it's because spring is here and I'm looking forward to summer. Maybe it's because I love Fender guitars, Fender amps and REVERBBBBBBBB! Maybe it's because I'm just expanding my guitar vocabulary a bit to include more surf music. Maybe it's my memories of hanging out with mom and dad's vinyl record collection, listening endlessly to stuff like Johnny Rivers and The Ventures. Maybe it's because I'm teaching my son to play guitar, and you can't play the guitar without knowing Walk, Don't Run. (More essential than Stairway, and far more hip). But right now I am totally digging on this CD. I downloaded it from iTunes and I can't stop playing it!

Okay, there are glaring omissions on this CD. First, where the heck is Telstar? Where's the Ventures' cover of the Chantays hit Pipeline? Where is Apache? Well, they are all available for download too, and you can finish off this great collection for three bucks (and each of those tunes is worth at least a buck). But pretty much everything else you really need by the Ventures is here.

Some of this music conjures up images of Aunt Bee bursting into Opie's bedroom while he and a friend are listening to some of that new, wild, corrupting rock and roll music. This is the stuff that inspired Greg Brady to start using such evil terminology as "far out" and "groovy." You know, the surfy, dance-oriented instrumental guitar music that is positively tame and harmless but for some folks conjured up images of Satan luring young people straight into hell with savage jungle music. I'm certain that many a graying beehive's heart was cast into genuine fear by the reckless abandon, pounding drums, overdriven guitars, and savage rhythms of The 2,000 Pound Bee (run for your life!), Slaughter on Tenth Avenue (SCARY!), The Savage ('nuff said), and Underground Fire (Could that one be more obviously about Hell?)

This is all instrumental music - no vocals to be found. And it's great. Dig the bluesy groove of Ram-Bunk-Shush, which is more Chuck-Berry-meets-Freddie-King than Dick Dale. Or the cool, overdriven guitars (with feedback!) of Action Plus. And the ultra-twangy spy guitar of Dick Tracy. Not to mention the greatest TV theme song of all time, Hawaii 5-O. (Okay, Barney Miller, Dobie Gillis, and the Munsters also had really good theme music). Anyone familiar with the Pulp Fiction soundtrack will recognize Surf Rider (here entitled Spudnik). PF included a cover of this tune by The Lively Ones, but the Ventures' version is the original. These guys were the real pioneers of instrumental rock.

There's not a dud on this set. Okay, maybe Lullaby of the Leaves is unnecessary (it sounds almost as much like Walk, Don't Run as Walk Don't Run '64 does). But it's a great set. If you like twangy guitars, surf music and primal rock and roll, you can't go wrong here.

Now grab that Strat, make an E-shaped barre chord, and go A-G-F-E (5th fret, 3rd fret, 1st fret, open). Just walk it. Don't run.

UMC Buzzwords

Mike Holly has an interesting post about buzzwords that the UMC should, in his opinion, take a break from. Here's a quote from his post.

This has got me thinking about other words that Methodists should "be on a break" from...

1. District
2. Board
3. Committee
4. General
5. Commission
6. Principles
7. Grace -- only because it tends to dissuade us from personal and social holiness
8. Reason
9. Rumor
10. IRD
11. Rapture
12. Good - as in "how to have a good life/marriage/family/etc.
13. Nominations
14. Open Theology - as in "United Methodists can make up their own minds..."
15. Hoops - as in those things you are "expected" to jump through

I don't know about this list. I think he and I would disagree on more than a couple of points.

First of all, GRACE does not belong on that list. If only more United Methodists really got grace, understood it, and believed it. We all say we believe in grace, but we really don't. The idea of getting something for nothing, of receiving an unearned gift is anathema in our culture. We believe you get what you deserve, what you work for, what you earn. (In other words, in our heart of hearts we believe in karma, not grace.) Grace is a gift God has given than we cannot earn and do not deserve. It is the crown jewel of our faith and the thing that separates Christianity from other religions and philosophies.

Maybe gratitude and responsibility (the key concepts of discipleship, IMHO) need to be added, but grace cannot be removed.

But let me add my own list of buzzwords the UMC would be better off without.

• Liberal and Conservative. Both are used uncritically, incorrectly, and pejoratively. Neither carries any real meaning anymore. Nix 'em.
• Biblical Authority (or "the authority of Scripture"). Give it a rest. Nobody in the church really denies biblical authority, even if they do understand the nature of biblical authority differently from some others. The only time anyone uses this term is when they want to accuse someone of denying it. There are other ways of reading scripture than as a 17th century Calvinist.
  
• The historic church. Even a cursory look at church history will show that Christianity was diverse from the beginning. If we are to name only one as "the historic church" it would be the one that wanted to fry Luther, keep people from reading scripture for themselves, and kept getting into bed with governments to the detriment of both.
• Amicable Separation. After the last General Conference in 2004, the Good News and Confessing folks got what they wanted regarding homosexuality in the UMC... the language in the Book of Discipline was clarified and strengthened. And in response to getting what they wanted, they put out a call for "amicable separation." I always suspected that those who use the language of separation are doing so in an attempt to seize power in the church, but that move is what my poker-playing friends call a "tell." You want to split after getting what you want? Riiiight. Which brings me to....
  
• Reconciling Movement, Confessing Movement, Good News Movement. None of you are moving anything. The church is positively stagnant from the gridlock caused by these opposing "movements." To paraphrase Lewis Black, after 9/11, with U.S. involvement two ongoing wars (Iraq and Afghanistan), genocide in Darfur, the threat of a third war (Iran), and with HIV and Malaria epidemics in Africa, this is what you're most concerned with? GET A HOBBY!

I'm sure given enough time I can come up with more, but these are the ones that really give me the irks.